Pitch Black ♞

If you are hearing this, then I haven't answered the incessantly ringing phone. It may be because I don't want to talk to you, so think about that before you continue trying to reach me through this ridiculous mortal device. Honestly, shadows are much faster, and if you were really clever, you would try just asking the dark space under your bed to convey your message. Either way, I am not at your beckon call.

But, on the off chance I do want to chat, leave your message here. I may call back. I may not. Try not to weep with disappointment.